The Kassel
Connection

Photo by Nancy Saunders

Biff Mitchell lives at the edge of the world. He has no life. He has no friends. Neighborhood children throw stones at his hovel. At night, Biff throws stones at his hovel. Someday Biff plans to write a book about a man who lives in a hovel that is stoned daily by neighborhood children who—through some magical twist of events—turn into snowmen. When Spring arrives, the man’s house melts.

Biff Mitchell’s
WRITING HURTS LIKE HELL

A four week workshop designed to bring out the writer in you, get you started on that novel you’ve always wanted to write ... and keep the steam up until it’s finished. For more information, visit
 writinghurtslikehell.com.

Where I’ve been, what I’ve done, and the people important to me.

Read the media release about the murder victim

Twisted Tails 3: Pure Fear
Is On Sale Now!

“In this book, Twisted Tails III, we are dredging up fear and wallowing in it as if it were something to be played with, cuddled and fingers lovingly run through its fur like a cherished pet. What we’re doing here is tinkering with terror of the primal kind. You know what I mean, the sort of fright that lies coiled and ready to spring from the dark corners of the mind with no warning. It awaits all, lurking in the deeper shadows of consciousness. No one is immune and, frequently, there is no cure, you just sink into its roiling depths and are no more. If you do manage to escape, life will no longer be what it was before and you will find yourself glancing nervously over your shoulder whenever you hear something strange in the darkness or see a shadow move in the night...or day. Enjoy...” From the introduction by editor J. Richard Jacobs

The War Bug
The Internet from Earth to Saturn is collapsing from devastating cyber weapons released by warring online city states, taking with it millions of virtual worlds and billions of people, digital and real. Abner Hayes has just a few hours to find his virtual wife and daughter who have been kidnapped by evil forces to learn their startling secret. His only ally is the deadly computer virus that started the destruction.

”[The War Bug] is action-packed, edge-of-your-seat, adult science fiction drama crafted into plausible reality by a talented storyteller.” Susan DiPlacido, author of 24/7

Team Player
The largest software company in the world, ErectSoft INC, has never produced a single product or finished a project. But business is great, especially for the company’s army of homicidal marketing managers. And who cares that thousands of people are jumping off the roof of the tallest building in the world just for the hell of it? The world is going to end in a few hours – unless the most terrifying creature in the universe can be stopped by thirty pagan women and a man who thinks he’s a tree.

“Off-beat, darkly humorous and all-too-realistic, TEAM PLAYER is a truly great read.” Anne Leveille in The Best Reviews

Heavy Load (a laundromance)
Hillary finally meets a man who can give her an orgasm. And then he steals her job. In a few hours, the whole world is going to know about Jeffry’s secret fetish for soiled panties. Baxter’s control over his jock world suddenly crashes when a terrible secret from his past comes back to haunt him, and he can’t get it up anymore. These three people come to the Washing Green Laundromat on a Saturday morning to have their stories told by the world’s first sentient building.

“…each chapter becomes a mini-cliffhanger. That's what makes this a real page-turner.”  Deborah Fisher in Tregolwyn Reviews
 

Surfing in Catal Hyuk
Surfing in Catal Hyuk - the lead story in this collection - examines the life of a man so obscure that even death overlooks him. In Still Life with Muse and Sax, a ball-busting muse torments a writer as God rummages through his medicine cabinet. In The Nickel, a man’s dedication to ritual is reaffirmed after a journey that nearly ends in death. Christmas horror devours an entire family in The Big Red Gift.

“”Master Canadian storyteller Biff Mitchell pulls us into the beauty of nature with his perfect literary prose. In "Downstream," four friends, adrift in canoes on a meandering river, are separated and realize the meaning of fear in a magnificent Canadian wilderness.”  BJ Lowry, publisher of the original Clearings collection

eMarketing Tools for Writers, 2nd Edition
This book gets you right into promoting your books using free to inexpensive online tools. In easy-to-understand language, you'll learn how to use state-of-the-art Internet technologies such as RSS news feeds, podcasts, Internet radio, and blogs. You'll learn how to use forums, ezines and free media release services to market your books.

“...these methods can be used for both those people with online businesses who depend almost entirely on internet marketing and those individuals who want to increase their promotional efforts for their brick and mortar businesses.” Tami Brady in TCM Reviews

Smoke Break
“This is a quick fun read and shows Mitchell’s sense of humor. While taking a cigarette break, our narrator notices a rip in the grate of the air conditioning system. Inside the grate something is moving and it turns out to be a giant spider who is curious about mankind. Our narrator spends several days trying to explain mankind until the spider decides to tell him the difference between his species and ours. It’s a bit warped but I liked it and I’m sure a lot of you will too.” Barry Hunter, Baryon Online

This is an ebook novella published by Echelon Press as a Dollar Download.

The Baton
Originally titled Killing Assholes, this novella follows the bloody actions of a man who decides one day that somebody has to cull the overpopulation of inconsiderate slobs, self-centered egomaniacs, and mindless noise-makers who poison the quality of life in the modern world. After reading this story, you’ll never look at a cell phone or a bulletin board the same way ... and won’t ever spit on a sidewalk.

Anthony R. Farina calls it “Holden Caulfield on steriods.”

This is an ebook novella published by Echelon Press as a Dollar Download.

From Hollywood Experts and Published Writers: Words of Wisdom for Starving Artists

From Hollywood Experts and Published Authors contains gems of experience-based wisdom and advice from an attorney specializing in intellectual property law in Century City and the out-going President of the Los Angeles Copyright Society, a personal manager for Hollywood actors, a Hollywood teacher and movie extra, a “Fictionwise eBook Author of the Year,” a creator of websites listed among the “Writer’s Digest 101 Best Websites for Writers”, and much more. Based on articles from author Marilyn Peake’s popular newsletter, The Golden Goblet, this book is a treasure chest of advice and inspiration. Check out my article on the 2006 Maritime Writers’ Workshop and Literary Festival.

Do you work, or have you worked, in the  courseware industry? Do you know the absurdity? Click the banner above and add to the madness.

Join the 21st Century return to the short story and order the best of Biff shorts here.

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